ok so where was I? Let's begin in Durbs

Right before you have a go, I know, yes I know it's been two weeks and all 8 of you have been literally dying to know that I'm not dead and what the hell is going on - well it's been absolutely bloody mental, non-stop on the go/lash/rugby/lack of internet - This Is Africa after all....!

So I last left u before the Sharks game in Turban (2nd largest Indian pop outside India apparently) - having managed to grab a lift up there with the two legends that are P Doggy Dogg and CS2, or Pete and Charlie to most of mankind. Now these lads are epic boyos, just 19 - already calling me Gramps the lil' shites! - and on their gap years, the lucky buggers! So check this - they've gone and spend about 800 sheets (GBP) on a classic 25 yr old Merc and then given it a new paint job - Lions red on the bonnet, roof and boo, white down the sides, covered in blags and written 'British Lions' all over it in massive letters - absolutely fucking priceless, it really is!! And the locals love it, hooting, waving and staring! We also pick up the two jocks Colin and Euan and the 5 of us hit the road for the 700 click drive to Durbs - not so good in an old car that could over heat and limits you to about 100 kph, pretty down slow, luck I've got my ipod and itrip plus some seriously classic toooooons!

Now on a side note to this story some of you might remember me mentioning Strange/Weird Goeff earlier from the bus trip and it turns out also my bed buddy for the second night in Bloem when i had to share the honeymoon room with him - not so nice when he is a short, strange, 45 yr old, weird irishman, who we've decided is a bit of an alchy - beer and biltong for breakfast and he's fine.......hmmm!! haha. Anyway Nick von Shark, Sarah and the rest of the posse from our guest house have all cruised off in their cars to Lesotho and the Draakensberg mountains for a few days, leaving me with Strange Geoff and a guesthouse owner who is mightly pissed off that aqpparently what was agreed to be paid back 3 months ago, now isn't what he thinks he should get - not so good! And Strange Geoff wants to know how we (as in us two, together.....aaahhhhh) are getting to Durbs, I mention - and feel bad about it but hey - that Pete offered me and the Flying Scotsmen a lift to Durbs but I waiting on his call, at which point he looks at me and is like 'What about me then? Can I squeeze in?' Don't think so Geoff there are already 5 of us in the Lions Mobile - this goes down like a shit sarnie and I'm no longer Mr Popular......! Oopps but to be honest I couldn't hangout with Strange Geoff any longer, he's a weird one! All I wanted to say to the fella was 'Geoff you're 45, travelling on your own and you're waiting for me to organise your bloomin' trip, sorry chap I sorted mine out as I'm on my own and that's what you do!' He hasn't spoken to me since and won't shake my hand.....now I run the other way if I happen to catch side of Strange Geoff!

So Durbs - I was here 8 yrs ago and loved it! My bro Huggy said that there wasnt much going on just stay a day or 2 but I ended up staying for 10 days or two weeks, classic laugh and a lot of it was down to Joe Cools nightspot on the beach - classic! 8 yrs ago I rolled in on a Sunday thinking I'd get a nice early night, oh how wrong I was. So this being a Sunday night again - and after 2 very heavy nights in Bloem remember - we hit the hostel and straight down to the beach for a bit of Joe Cools lashing!! I didn't disappoint either, bar not being as full as I'd hoped but then it was already midnight, our new fav drink was got in straight away - Brandy Specials! To which the response was 'What's a Brandy Special?' Come on barlady-women, you know a brandy special........ok ok there is absolutely nothing special about it - it's just a double brandy and coke. So massive tosser was in there with his shirt open and he was a large slice - so massive tosser on all accounts! oh yeah! and his mate didn't like it when i decided to give him a wee round of applause when he told me the Queen went to his uncles funeral......but hey it was rubbish chat!

A couple of chilled days on the beach in Durbs with the boyos, playing rugby, body surfin' and generally larking about in what should have been very pleasant 25 degrees sunshine was actually spend in pretty cloud cover days....but hey fuck it we're British, so we hit the beach anyway - locals think we are absolutely bloody nuts!!

And then it was the game at the Shark Tank, where I sad with George (Charlie's older bro who has just flown into town and join the game to make it 6 strong - good work Boy George) amidst the season ticket holders - not sure what they should about a very tall oeke and a lad in a Lion outfit, hmmmm

We cmpletely killed them on the pitch, which didn't amuse the locals, who are used to their team being pretty successful in the Super 14 but then as they mentioned to us they were missing 10 international players who were training with the Bokke - excuses but fair enough I guess, I'm just annoyed their players weren't allowed to play, it makes it a better contest, you get to see the big players and it encourages the locals to come out and see their team - which would be nice in another third empty stadium.........!! Bloody pisses me off how excessive the ticket prices our, not for us but for the locals - a Super 14 game costs them 50 bucks, an int'l a couple of hundred tops, now the Lions vs the Sharks is about 300. It reminds me of the 2007 Cricket World Cup in the West Indies when they priced the locals out and lost the best supports in world cricket, leaving the tournament in a bloody great mess!!

But the best bit of the game actually kicks off after the match has finished when we meet up with Craig Davidson - a former Boks & Sharks player - who invited us to a braai (apparently the world's biggest barbie, shed loads of cars are all parked up and everyone is tucking into their own braai's and beers) in the carpark with Butch James - how classic is that?! But actully what is really classic is Butchie's mum - Mrs J, damn she is legend!! We end up chilling there for ages, having beers and food (I think but then who cares about food, it's the beers we're interested in.....haha!!). So Butchie tells us about the problems at bath - I didnt expect that, I thought we'd be getting a 'No comment' but apparently it wasn't exactly a surprise.

Anyway guess who rocks up next - Lee Mears.......ok not that interesting having banter with him in Bloem - non other that Springbok legend Bob Skinstad.......!! Now he is a top top fella. P-dogg and I ended up getting a lift with Craig and a few others to a bar, so the other all get in the front and we hop into the back of his bakkie (a pick up), as is fairly standard in Africa and really quite a laugh with the wind in one's hair! Then to my utter surprise Bobby jumps into the back with us, I'm like 'Bob don't you want to sit up front?' 'Nah' comes the response 'I'm gonna sit here with the lads!" haha classic bloke, so the three of us end up hitting the bar next to his hotel and get thoroughly lashed up and have a good good banter (and free drinks because everyone and I mean everyone in SA loves Bob Skinstad - and so do I now!), plus the lad gives me his number before he hits the sack and tells us to drop him a line in Cape Town that weekend at the next game - LEGEND! He might even interview us.......

P-doggy dogg and I end up leaving said establishment with a cpl of fine younf South African ladies, having no idea how we did it - ooh had it been a messy night's drinking!!